DAMSELS IN DISTRESS
The major problem in contemporary social life
Take Frank, my friend -- he's not some cool, handsome, "studly" macho-guy. No,
not at all -- I can't bear guys like that! Frank's sort of a sad-sack really,
wouldn't you say?
Rose and Heather nod.
What's a "sad-sack?"
You like losers?
Very much so. Do you know what's the major problem in contemporary social life?
The tendency, very widespread, to always seek someone "cooler" than yourself --
always a stretch, often a big stretch.
Why not instead find someone who's
Someone like Frank.
Yes. It's more rewarding and in fact quite reassuring.
You mean, someone you can really help? Not just thinking of yourself?
Exactly! That's it. Precisely! But without the goody-goody implications -- our
aspiration is pretty basic: Take a guy who hasn't realized his full potential,
or doesn't have much, then help him realize it -- or find more.
Lifetime career goals
I know that people can have useful careers in many areas: Medicine. Law.
Yes, even education -- but I'd like to do something especially significant in my
lifetime, the sort of thing that changes the course of human history: such as
start a new dance craze.
Yes. Something that might enhance the life of every one -- and every couple.
The Suicide Prevention Center
You probably think we're frivolous, empty-headed, perfume-obsessed college
coeds. You're probably right. I often feel empty headed--
Violet picks up the "Prevention" from the Center's sign from ground.
But we're also trying to make a difference in people's lives. And one way to do
that is to prevent them from killing themselvesâ€¦. Have you ever heard the
expression, "Prevention is nine-tenths the cure?" Well, in the case of suicide,
it's actually ten-tenths.
Rick, the Daily Complainer's editor, doubts their efficacy:
You should know something about these girls -- they run the "Suicide Center"
where their preferred therapy for seriously depressed and suicidal people is
...tap dancing. I kid you not.
Tap is a very effective therapy as well as a dazzlingly expressive dance form.
It's been sadly neglected for too many years.
It's moronic and barbaric. You seriously expect tap dancing to solve these
No, we don't -- we're using the whole range of musical dance numbers which over
many years have proven themselves effective therapies for the suicidal and
I don't know about you but I don't think anyone should feel embarrassed about
not knowing stuff. What's embarrassing is pretending to know what you don't --
or putting down other people just because you think they don't know as much as
you. I'm happy to admit I'm completely ignorant. That's why I'm here and plan to
really hit the books. The next time you see me, I'll know more than I do now.
I'll be older, but also wiser -- or at least know more stuff. For me, that's
The Decline of Decadence
Have you chosen a topic for your paper?
Uh, "The Decline of Decadence."
You think decadence has declined?
Definitely. Big time. Major, major decline.
"How" or "in what ways?"
Okay, take the flit movement in literature, or homosexuality--
Homosexuality. It's gone completely downhill. Right down the tubes
He makes the sound: "Whchht."
Before, homosexuality was something refined, hidden, subliminated, aspiring to
the highest forms of expression and often achieving them. Now it just seems to
be a lot of muscle-bound morons running around in T-shirts.
Violet looks a little shocked.
It's pretty disillusioning.
Violet pauses in thought for a long moment
Are you gay?
Not especially but in another era, it would have had more appeal. Now, I just
don't see the point.
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